Trim The Fat

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Fat Pants

That's all I can wear nowadays.

I have three pairs of pants (excluding sweats and track pants) that are work-appropriate and they are all fat pants. Two pairs of jeans and one pair of "diaper pants" as my wife calls them. She calls them that because they are really baggy, especially in the rear.

"It looks like you took a crap in them" she says.

I never tuck my shirts into my fat pants. Why? Because they would show the fact that even these so-called fat pants are too tight. When I wear my fat jeans, they always leave an imprint on my skin after I take them off. I can always see where the big button pressed against my flabby pooch.

And they are always too long. The worst part is that the inseam is always smaller than the waist. I just came to the realization that I'm wider than I am tall and that scares me.

As much as I hate my damn fat pants, I love my damn fat pants.

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